Members from Facebook Bigfoot Groups are 99,2% Aliens wanting their Extinction

Archeologist Dr. Ferdinand Borrow, known mostly for having discovered a 12 feet long skeleton of an alleged Bigfoot in Idaho, and for his adiction to LSD, claims that most members from Facebook Groups regarding research, hunting, or finding of the mysterious Bigfoot "being" are in fact members of an extraterrestrial race in war with such creatures since milenniums. 

He confesses having contacted administrators from "Bigfoot Comunity", "Bigfoot - Believers", "Ohio Bigfoot Hunters", Bigfooting in Alabama" "BFRO - Bigfoot Field Research Organization", "Facebook Find Bigfoot" and many others Facebook Groups during a long night when the LSD was kicking strong. 

He remembers clearly details like seeing a black african Unicorn making love to his wife on the couch... He said he realized 99,2% of members of such groups want the extinction of the Sasquatch/Bigfoot/Yeti Species, but hasn´t sure how he came to that conclusion. Was a confusing night for him. 

Paradoxal Chronicles, as a serious Fake News blog assures that however Dr. Ferdinand Borrow jumped into that conclusion, it can´t be seen as just another lunatic conspirancy... And we want to reach the bottom of this. 

Are you a Member from such a Facebook Group?! Here´s a couple of questions for you: Hey, In which planet you were living before you decided to move to the US, alien? What have you against Bigfoot, you freaking imigrant?

Vatican finds new tasks for Exorcists

The Vatican decided to help kids from a small South African town who were behaving strangelly due do subnutrition by sending there their most feared Exorcist.

Bigfoot Phenom Attracts Men Into Traps

A Cryptozoology research group, lead by Anthropologist Dr. Darell Marshal concluded that: "New evidences show us that Bigfoot´s phenomena is being used as an excuse women bring to convince men going camping in the wild and have the best sex ever... Huge Footprints surrounded by condomns tells us that men may already suspect about it".

Vanished Magician Assistant reappears 40 years later

In middle 1970s Magician John Cardwell made his female Assistant vanish during a Magic Trick in New Orleans. Now exactly 40 years after she reappeared as he planned from the beginning. The trick wasn´t that bad, but the audience left the Theater a long time ago.

Latest Bigfoot Sighting Report

A Serial Killer reported over Nebraska´s Police Department that he was innocently burying his last victim out in the woods at night, when he came across with a 10 feet tall Bigfoot which vanished just a few seconds later. He confessed he got so scared over the possibility it could be a Human Eyewitness that he decided to stop his killing spree, but no one was really interested in listening that part of the story.

Paradoxal Chronicles - Vol. 1 Real Life Vampire Hunter

Yaph! Paradoxal Chronicles just released it´s first mini and free ebook. 60 short hilarious stories you can read in 20, 30 minutes and laugh your asses off. Download it for free and if you enjoy, please Donate something! Donate Button on Top Right of this blog. ;)! Allow Paradoxal Chronicles to keep entertaining you! Download ebook: Here!

Flashforward Catastrophically becomes Real

A 31 year old man had six months ago a Flashforwad which Catastrophically became true last week. He just couldn´t avoid getting Jessica pregnant.

Curious Facts: An investigator used a Fake Facebook profile to discover that Australians do in fact use to applaude with their Butt Cheeks.

Alien Invasion over a Small Town

A frustrated 45 year old man, called out an Alien Invasion over his Town. Apparently it wasn't that hard. All he had to do was climb the highest mountain nearby, and yell to the skies: "Wanna piece of this, retards?! Come and get it! I'll be drinking beer at Hooters waiting for your asses". A couple of hours later it was on...

Connection Between Firebenders and Spontaneous Combustion Files

All documented cases from Firebenders ended up turning into Spontaneous Combustion cases. Alert to all Firebenders out there: "You control Fire. It doesn't mean you're Fireproof, you idiots"!

Junkyard Owner Successfully builds Time Machine

A Junkyard Owner claims he has built a Time Machine from recycled material. According to his words, it works fine, and he has already Travelled in Time in two different occasions and was abble to return to the present. In an exclusive interview with a Paradoxal Chronicles's correspondent he told that: "I could even travel in Time to prevent Hitler from starting that Holocaust, but I don't really have that good impression about Jewish people".

Demon Trapped in a Box

Last Valentine's day, Daniel Reeves offered his girlfriend a Demon Trapped in a Wooden Box. She hated the gift and they ended up arguing, so he dumped her while yelling: "I offered you this Demon Trapped in a Box to show you how much I Love you. Like it or not, deal with it"!

Light Speed Runner

A 36 year old Sales Representative got struck by a Lightning while drinking an energy drink (Kids! Don't try this at home! It won't work!) which gave him the capacity of running at Light Speed. He's so fast he can even run over water, but he always slips over ice.

Chameleon Skin

A 26 year old convict in jail developed the ability of changing his skin color like a chameleon. He got accepted in every single prison gang. Latinos called him "Pepe De La Cabra", African Americans called him "3Pac Lacy" and for White Supremacists he was know as "Larry", but even so he didn't avoid getting raped by his cellmate.

How to Summon the Giant Werdu

Ancient Greece Mythology Students found out thru intensive research the right procedure to summon the Giant Lord of Destruction and God of the Core of the World Werdu. Soo... For those interested in dooming Mankind to extinction with "His" help, all you need to do is jump into an active Volcano, dive thru lava untill you reach the Core of the Earth and when you get there scream as loud as you can: "Werdu! Werdu! Where the f*ck are you?"

Don´t need to thank us for the information. ;)

Engineer Genius built huge Spaceship

A Brilliant Engineer built a giant spaceship capable of transporting over 500,000 passengers and travel safely during over 3 centuries, but he warns that: "My Spaceship runs with Marijuana as fuel, so... Better start legalizing it, or no one is getting out of this sh*thole".

Parallel Universe Theory

Physisist Dr. Gerald, an expert in String Theory and Parallel Universes Theory claims being 99 percent sure that there´s another "him" who on every single night at 9pm watches porn online in at least one Parallel Universe. He also confesses he ever prefered dirty Magazines.

Imaginary friends at Childhood

Sociology studies reveal that kids who don´t talk to Imaginary friends have less probabilities of being retards.

Radioactive Mogwai

People demand answers from our Governors concerning various considered Top Secret topics, and Paradoxal Chronicles supports them... Like... Certainly this one is on everyone´s mind right now: We all know that Radiation poisoning can be fatal to people, but has anyone ever tried exposing a Mogwai to it?

Canadian Little Girl Sees Death

Amanda, a sweet 6 year old girl was innocently helping her mom on smuggling drugs into her small Town, Mahone Bay, New Scotia, in Canada, when she had an encounter with Death, and still lived to tell the story. Her case was reported at the local police department. The detailed description she gave didn't match nothing ever seen before, reason why everyone in that Town believes she's dyslexic.

Dating a Zombie Girl

A 27 year old McDonald´s worker talked with a Paradoxal Chronicles correspondent about his short relationship with a "corpsy" young female: "I dated a zombie chic, felt even in love with her, and sex was great, but she started talking about getting pregnant and having kids... Only then I realized how delusional she was. We had only met 4 days earlier. You don´t bring stuff like that up right at the beginning of a relationship".